As I was standing at the mirror, plucking what would but for my diligence be a pretty good uni-brow, I was struck with a profound revelation; "I think I actually like the me I see in this mirror." Wow, what a thought! I have spent 60 plus years not liking me. I've never been good enough. I wasn't as pretty, I didn't have as nice clothes, I had to wear glasses, I had big ears, I didn't live in as nice a house, and the list goes on and on and on. I have avoided befriending people because I thought they were better than me. I didn't try new things because I was sure I would not be good enough to succeed. I have to ask myself what has changed. Am I just so old that I'm past caring? In all honesty, I know that is not the answer. My relationship with God has taught me many amazing things, but the most profound thing is this, I am loved! I am not sub-standard because God does not create junk! God gave me a mind and talents and all I have to do is choose to use them. His gift to me is life and my gift to Him should be what I do with it. I am no better or worse than anyone else; not those elite or those poorest. I choose to give back to God whatever talents and gifts He's given me and to reach outside myself to be all that He longs for me to be. I guess it's never too late to change so look out family and friends and friends I have yet to meet, here I come!

Someone told me today that I should feel proud of myself for something I had done. I started thinking about the act of feeling proud of oneself. My question became, " Should anyone feel proud of themselves?" The conclusion I came up with is this, no. I don't think anyone accomplishes any thing by themselves. I've been married more than 40 years. In today's society that is quite an accomplishment. Should I feel proud? I don't think so. I didn't do this by myself; it took effort on both my part and my husbands. We raised 3 children who work hard and make their own way in the world without the crutches of alcohol or drugs or any other addictions. Should I be proud? Again, this was a collaborative effort. I've been told I have a lovely home. Should I be proud? No, again. I didn't make this home by myself. I've been told I have been gifted in some areas of my life. These things I can do without help from most others but my inspiration comes not from myself but from my Creator. Ultimately, everything any of us ever accomplishes in this life can only be credited to the source of our inspiration. Our Creator gives us our unique gifts. Sure we have the will to use those gifts but we do not do anything without His strength and His gifts to us. Some people would argue this point with me and that is okay. The Truth remains whether we believe it or not. I'm not sure why it has taken me so long to figure this out. I guess the first 60 years of my life, I was too self-absorbed to accept the fact that I really don't do anything without Gods Strength. I sincerely hope it doesn't take my children so long realize the same thing. I hope it doesn't take you too long either. You may think me a Bible toting lunatic and if you do that's okay. My only concern in life now is what God thinks of me, not man!

Okay, so here's what happened. I had been shopping. It was hot. I was thirsty. I pulled in to a local fast food joint drive thru. I ordered a large diet Pepsi. The girl on the intercom told me how much I owed her and I drove forward. I gave her the exact change. She, however, gave me money back. I asked her if I had heard her wrong and she sweetly said, " Oh no. I gave you the senior citizen discount!" I quickly looked in the rear view mirror to see if I had perhaps turned gray while shopping or if I was wearing a shawl or my glasses were on the end of my nose. No, I looked the same to me. I really didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I nicely accepted the change and the drink, and drove home in a funk. Looking back on the whole situation I realize she was doing her job well and meant no harm to my ego but it took a while for me to put it in perspective and know that, yes, I am a senior citizen but I don't intend to let that stop me. Next time, I may even ask for the discount. On second thought ....